Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2009. Post the first line of it in your journal, and that's your "Year In Review."

January: My new years resolution is to live.

February: I don't care if this makes me a hypocite but...

March: yesterday was my birthday...it was the best

April: so i went to St. Joes for an OB rotation andd... i saw a baby be born.

May :i'm graduating this year...and on graduation day two of my best friends have decided to sit it out and one wont be there because he isn't graduating

June: sometimes dreams really scare me and i wish i had a way of knowing what they mean...

July:uuggghhh.....

August: SexBot predicted that these people are most likely to have sex with Kaylee:

September: im not sure about this whole college thing,

October: GratefulGroove13 (12:42:54 PM): Aren't you that girl I nailed in the bum in that gas station in Newark last month?!

November: So im kinda getting discouraged with this school thing

December: i miss being happy.

i hate when people ask me about school.
i lie everytime.
it's not like school or being away that bothers me,
i hate being alone, i hate that i've lost everyone that
i love here at home. i hate all the bitchy girls that are so stuck up
there. it's not that i hate le moyne, i like how it's small and i like the classes and
all the stupid shit they do, i just hate being alone.
i hate the feeling that i have there. i have absolutely no one to talk to.
I just miss having someone there for me.
i miss zach, he's amazing but i feel like i've lost him, just like
i lost brianna and sam. i lose people i love the most.
i hate being away from him, i wish i could have him with me all the time.
whatever ill be fine.

on the birght side theres snow on the ground!

i miss being happy.
something has to change.

i was reading what i posted last year on thanksgiving,
my life was completely different only a year ago.
some of the things i was thankful for aren't even apart of my life anymore.

so this year i'm thankful for...
-the fact that he is gone, it's almost been a year and im so happy
-my family
-school, it's getting better
-zachary! he means the world to me, thank you for putting up with me <3


the list is shorter than last year, but the things on it this year mean
so much more <3333

AlexxoftheDead (11:26:52 PM): thank you...I'd much rather be alone on thanksgiving than going to see twilight, so yea
kgee crazysee (11:27:07 PM): new moon
AlexxoftheDead (11:27:17 PM): haha sorry for the offense
AlexxoftheDead (11:27:23 PM): goddamn twii-hards

oh alex how i love you and our talks

i just want to quit.

So im kinda getting discouraged with this school thing,
the only thing i have ever wanted to do was medicine.
I cant picture myself anywhere besides in a hospital.
and now that my grades aren't doing so good i'm not sure
 if that is going to be possible. I don't understand why im suck so much.
but im trying to think of something besides medcine and theres nothing
im interested in. I dont want to be one of those people
who work for money, i want to work because i love doing it.
i want to be happy with my job and im scared to death that
its not gonna happen.


the all american rejects aways make me happy though haha.

"ill keep you my dirty little secret
don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
my dirty little secret"